Fear can be debilitating. It can feel overwhelming - almost as if we have no control over it. The great news is, when we discover the tools to overcome fear we regain control.
Here are 5 simple ways to catch yourself in those moments of fear and redirect your life.
1. When we replace FEAR with ACCEPTANCE, we attract CALM.
When you catch yourself fearing that wasp on the window, or the dog barking viciously as you pass by the neighbours fence, you can catch yourself in that moment of fear. Notice that you are responding to an accepted trigger - at some point in your life you have decided there is a danger in this situation. Therefore your fear response is a natural, and HEALTHY response. It is there to keep you safe. Once you ACCEPT this fact, you are one step closer to overcoming your fear.
2. Focus on your BREATHING. Develop CALM THINKING mode.
Now focus on your breathing, and allow your breath to bypass your chest (which is where you will be breathing in fight/flight response mode). Allow your breath to go all the way down to your belly button, slowing your breathing down deliberately, to the count of at least 4 counts in and 6 counts out. You will notice your physiological response change, as this kind of breathing triggers your parasympathetic nervous system. It allows you to step out of panic mode, into calm thinking mode. It is also the breathing that allows us to heal and restore our bodies, just for your own interest.
3. STOP. And take yourself INTO THE MOMENT as an observer.
In the moment, once you have slowed and adjusted your breathing, and once you have ACCEPTED your fear response as a HEALTHY response that is there to keep you safe, you can take yourself into the moment. It's almost as if you allow yourself to STOP, for just a few seconds, and look at the fear trigger - the dog, wasp, or whatever it may be - and allow yourself to see it objectively. See if you can look at it as if you are looking outside of yourself - as if you are not in the scene. For example, allow yourself to see the dog as just a dog, doing what dogs do - barking, trying to protect their territory, and this is healthy and productive, the dog is meeting a need for safety. If it's a wasp, see if you are able to calmly observe the wasp, IN THE MOMENT, noticing it's wings, it's fascinating body shape, the way it flies. It's almost as if you have taken yourself out of the picture.
4. Develop a STRATEGY FOR SAFETY.
Now you can decide what you would like to do. You have assessed the situation. You've changed your physiological response. You are in calm thinking mode. So now you are equipped to make a good, logical decision. You may open the window so the wasp can fly out, closing it once that happens. You may calmly walk past the protective dog, in your mind appreciating its loyalty to its owners - maybe even a little humorously. You will likely be quite surprised at how calmly you make decisions.
5. BE PROUD OF and ACKNOWLEDGE your ACTIONS.
You have literally just reprogrammed your brain. You have taken yourself, in a moment of triggered stress, and rewired your thinking - in that moment. What an achievement! Acknowledge the power of your mind, and your ability to change. Appreciate what you've achieved. And allow yourself to, just for a few moments, bathe in the pride of it all.
These simple techniques can help you overcome simple fears, and even simple phobias. More complex fears, such as the fear of lifts or flying, or deeply ingrained long-standing fears, or external fears (such as a loved one crashing their car) may require more complex treatments.
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