These 3 surprising secrets to happiness could change your life, instantly.
Let Go of what was
So much unhappiness is caused by reminiscing about a past we cannot change, or worrying about a future that may not happen.
If there is something in your past that you would like to fix, or change, then the best thing you can do to generate your own happiness is do all you can to fix or change it.
Do absolutely everything in your capacity - say sorry, explain yourself, redo something that didn't work.
Do whatever you can, knowing that even if you don't achieve the outcome you desire, the fact that you have tried your best to rectify something displeasing increases your happiness in itself.
How can that work, you may ask. Well, once you've tried to mend something broken, and you have done all you can, it's much easier to move on from it and leave it behind.
It allows you to much more easily accept what is.
Accept what is
So once you have done everything in your power to change something you feel you messed up, then it's time to accept what is.
Whatever you wanted the outcome to be was simply not meant to be. It is extremely likely that you will look back in hindsight and understand why, even though you may not be able to make sense of it right now.
See if you can focus on the good in your life, what actually is working for you right now.
Know that the experiences of your past will enrich you in a multitude of ways, making you stronger, wiser and more capavle. You learn from every experience, and often those exoeriences that feel "negative" simply highlight to us what we don't want - and that then enables us to attract a more accurate version of what we do want. So interpreted "negative" experience often provide a catalyst for the most positive experiences of our life.
For example, a failed love affair where we feel betrayed and deceived or heartbroken could provide the ultimate catalyst to finding your perfect lover and soul mate. You now know much more clearly what you don't want!
Look Forward to what will be
Using this example, you can start looking forward to finding that wonderful soul mate, lover and person that actually deserves your love - knowing that although the last relationship may feel like what you want, if it ended badly it wasn't what you wanted or needed. However, through the experience of it, and the parts of it you crave, you have opened up a desire that can now be fulfilled in a more functional way by a better, more compatible person.
Hold on to the positive feelings and parts of your past you enjoyed, knowing that you can achieve those feelings in a more powerful, empowered and exciting way - through different circumstances or people.
So many of us think we need this outcome, that job, these circumstances or a specific thing in order to find happiness. Well the truth is nothing could be further from the truth!
We think happiness is something we can work at, attain or get. However, the real secret to happiness lies within.
What we focus on grows.
What this means if we focus on what makes us happy, we will attract more of that.
Alternately, if we focus on what upsets or stresses us we will simple get more anxious and unhappy.
We need to understand that at an elemental level, we are all embodied energy. It's for this reason that you may get an urge to call someone, and when you do they tell you they were just thinking of you. We are all interconnected in ways we do not understand - and in ways we do not need to understand. So long as we do understand that our energy affects the energy of those around us - their unconscious interpretation of us, their response and reaction to us, their sense of who they are in our presence - then we can also understand the power we hold to affect the world around us simply through changing our own inner energy.
So, simply put, see if you can focus on what makes you happy, what makes your heart sing. Maybe it's a walk on the beach, patting a horse, putting your feet in the grass or playing an instrument.
Do what makes you feel happy, and you will feel happier - it really is that simple.
Nature provides a wonderful doorway into inner peace, joy and happiness. Pat an animal, step under some trees, put your feet in the grass and the sand or dive through some waves.
And then choose positive thoughts. See negative thinking like a signpost on the side of the road advertising smoking when you don't smoke. So you don't look at it. You ride on, right past it, barely noticing it.
A secret is to never try to "fight off" negative thoughts, as that just engages them. Instead, simply let them come...and let them go...almost unnoticed, in the same way a mountain may notice clouds.
The more you practice this the more easily and naturally the process becomes.
Happiness is a process. It is not a constant. Just as we need night to have day, winter to have summer, and rain to have sunshine, we need struggle to have happiness.
Ironically, one of the main reasons why there is so much un-happiness in Western culture is due to our desire for constant happiness.
A great illustration of this understanding lies in the famous Buddhist tale about a kind man who watched a butterfly struggle to emerge from its cocoon. He decided to help, and used some scissors to cut a slit in the end of the cocoon so as to assist the butterfly and help it overcome the struggle. The butterfly emerged, out of the cocoon. However, because it had not needed to push through the cocoon, it's body was bloated, it's legs and wings were wet, and it lay limp on the ground unable to take flight. There was nothing the kind man could do now to save the butterflies life.
The moral to this story is we need to struggle in order to transform.
Challenges provide fantastic learning and growth opportunities. When we are able to embrace our "difficulties or struggles" as much as we do our triumphs, we are on the path to genuine inner peace and happiness.
Be patient with yourself. If you've been emotionally wounded allow yourself time to heal. Be gentle and kind with yourself, just as you would if you injured your knee - you would take it easy and adjust your lifestyle for a while until you began to gradually feel stronger. Give yourself the time you need to heal emotionally, recover, restore, and take stock. That way you will avoid burying pain deep within, which will doubtlessly fester or lead you to make the same "mistakes" over and over again. Until you learn from your experiences (and this takes time and patience) you are likely to get more of the same learning experiences - causing more pain and less happiness...until you finally learn.
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